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Life Lessons (How to make new friends as an adult)


Having a satisfying social life is essential  to having a health emotional life. As a person enters their adult years their focus naturally shifts to building a career, home and family. With this change in focus it becomes harder to keep up with existing friends and challenging to make new friends. Additionally, employments and other demands can often cause your long established friends to move or become less available. The problems of maintaining an adult friendship  can be compounded by with a divorce or your relocation.

It is absolutely vital that you be willing to make the first move and start a conversation with a stranger. This may be outside of your comfort zone but nobodys life changed for the better remaining in their comfort zone. This can be summed up in to words be proactive

Below is a list of places that an adult can meet and make friends with other adults.

Art Gallery
Book Store
Book Club
City Council or HOA
Community Association
Flash Mob
Grocery store
Gym/Rec Center
Live Music
School board
Sporting events
Sports league
Volunteer/community service

Although  the etiquette will vary depending on the location a few rules are universally applicable. An easy natural smile will go a long way. A smile makes you more approachable and it will make it easier for you to approach others.  Relax and have fun, this is easier said than done. If you are up tight or uneasy others will sense this and it makes you less approachable. It will also make conversation flow more smoothly if you are relaxed.

Practice.  As with anything this becomes easier with practice.  You can role play with a friend if you just want to make sure you have the flow of the words and actions.  You can also practice with  a lower bar set for your goal.   Your goal may be to simply have a two minute conversation with a someone you do not know or to introduce yourself to a stranger.  You could even make a new friend on your practice attempt.

One last note, pick an activity you enjoy or are genuinely interested in learning more about. Some of these activities require a significant time commitment and not of them are guaranteed to produce a friendship.  If you pick an appropriate activity or location you are more likely to meet someone you have multiple things in common with.


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